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SHE SAID: Since I’m not a parent, I have no idea what it must be like to decide how to go about dating when you’re single with children.I’m sure you’re struggling with wanting to do the right thing for your children, but also desirous of a relationship with someone which could hopefully lead to marriage.God is bigger than any failure or failed relationship in our lives. I would encourage you to boil down what is most important to you when considering what you need in someone you would like to date and perhaps eventually marry.I would advise you to start out by casting a wider net when it comes to choosing between those who have children and those who do not.That person must be right for you for your children.Along those lines, to singles who are dating or may be dating a single parent, please keep in mind and encourage your date to place “parenthood” first and “single” second.At the outset of the relationship, when you are just casually dating, there is no need for them to meet each other.Your date should know you have children and your children, should they ask, only needs to know you are going out with a friend, which is the truth.
When both of you see your relationship leading toward a serious commitment, that is the time to introduce each other to one another, as well as have dates collectively and alone.
A single parent may want to put more emphasis on their “new” relationship rather than on their child’s.
Don’t pressure them into doing so nor allow them to. SEE ALSO: He Said-She Said: When Parents Interfere In addition, don’t seek to start a relationship with the children until you are absolutely willing to follow through with a commitment to their parent in the location which is most conducive to the children.
While it still hurts to look back at the ones that didn’t end well, I know that I must inspect these areas of my relationship history (some of them I would consider wounds that have not fully healed) in order to better understand myself and why I made the relationship decisions and/or mistakes that I did. It’s no picnic revisiting times of my life where I just completely failed and wasn’t seeking the Lord and following his path for me.
But if I want to prepare myself for the person I hope to spend the rest of my life with as a mate (wherever he may be), then I know I must be working on myself and be aware of everything I’m bringing with me (baggage—is carrying something), so that I can give these areas of my life to God.