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Men do the same thing, but they get more opportunity because of their privilege.
Sugar Baby mentality is the same as alpha male mentality — you have ambition, you're dreaming for more.""I feel like such a lady boss," veteran Sugar Baby Chelsea Ridenour tells the crowd during one seminar.
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There's nothing wrong with entering into a consensual, reciprocal relationship in which "love" is exchanged for material gain.
Sugaring can absolutely be a feminist act when performed by women who own their sexuality and are up-front about their needs and expectations.
And these vital concepts in power play were completely glossed over at the Sugar Baby Summit in a misguided effort to make the Sugar lifestyle seem "accessible" and "mainstream."For example, representatives from the website constantly obsessed over how the site was kept "PG." It was very clearly their intent to de-stigmatize Sugaring, and bring it into the light as a fun, exciting, sexy way to play, away from the shady taboos that are often associated with it.
But there's nothing R-rated about frank communication and consent. Unfortunately, in its shortsighted efforts to become a "PG" "dating/relationship" website (as opposed to a place to find sex), Seeking has some pretty murky, sex-negative policies.
But we like to garner a lot of media interest, and unfortunately only gay outlets are usually interested in gay events. Society kind of dictates that there wouldn't be very many Sugar Mommies, just because of gender roles, and how men are usually the provider, and it's kind of weird for a woman to be in [the Mommy] role, and it's kind of weird for a man to be in [the Sugar Baby] role.The Sugar Baby Lifestyle gets a lot of flack for being anti-feminist, patriarchal, or simply glorified sex work.But I — and a lot of sex-positive feminists like me — believe that A) there's nothing wrong with sex work, B) there are totally ways to live a feminist SB lifestyle, and C) there are ways to live an SB lifestyle that have nothing to do with being a sex worker whatsoever.Of course, these tactics have their place in any power dynamic.But only once you've explicitly discussed your needs, desires, and expectations, and established boundaries and consent.